Gawrsh, it's almost 3 AM and I'm supposed to be meeting my pastor at 9AM to sorta job shadow.
I'm going to be late first of all, but if I do make it at anywhere near the time we planned I will be tired; but drugs help and their also part of the reason I'm here: it's steroid week.
SIDE EFFECT STEROIDS:Insomnia?
Hahaha, I forgot because last time I was on them I felt like poop and I just wanted to sleep all the time. Fortunately for both of us, I'm not tired, I'm inspired and I'm ready to write. Sadly, I'm a little scatter brained as well. Hold on.
Okay so I really kind of want to preach, I never thought I'd say that. I was laying here trying to sleep and it came to me, I need to read through the entire bible, like really bad. Now I'm thinking about how inspiring I feel when people like my status on Facebook when they're about Jesus. A biblically based inspiration Facebook status is pretty much preaching? Woah, brain melt. I like doing it a lot though, and I'm almost disappointed when I don't do it more often. I guess that's why I'm going to creep on my pastor later and learn. I don't feel called to you snow heads though, I love you and I pray you love Jesus. But I've learned in my life, although I'm praying to grow in this area, those older than me aren't my specialty. If you don't think I'm cool, my words mean a lot less. Some people older than me think I'm cool but, she's not that old. Love you mom ;]
Yatta yatta, preachy time.
SERIOUSLY IF YOU CLAIM TO LOVE JESUS READ THIS.
I'm young and at times I can be naive.(I googled this word like 6 times to spell it) Pretty much everyone loves love though. Even stupid narcissistic(that is people who are VERY into themselves) people love love! We like attention, or I do and I THINK most people do. SO if someone wrote you like 52 love letters, before you were ever born and sent them all to you. Then you find out this person did so much other stuff just so they could be with you. Like prepared a (house) place for you to live and gathered enough wealth to take care of you forever. When you finally found these letters wouldn't you eat them up no matter how "BORING" you thought they were? "Guhh this part was stupid why did they even include this?" Wouldn't you still just for the sake of being able to tell this lovely person you read them all, read every letter AT LEAST ONCE? To me it seems pretty rude, retarded, selfish, and just straight up douchy to claim love to someone who did all that for you and then not even read those letters.
oh yea, that's THE BIBLE. SO
read it maybe?
It's funny that I just wrote all of that, because when I jumped out of my bed turned my light on and ran to my computer neither of those things were really on my mind and the thing I was really thinking about totally left my mind. I pray that's not the bad guys distractions. I pray that God had a plan for me to write this instead.
Cool cool, cool cool cool. I'm tired. I can't think of anything else and I got to grow a relationship I never though I would further. A productive visit with the early hours of the morning.
Although there is one more thing that's on my mind.
A few days ago I posted something on Facebook because it was like melting my forehead and I had to say it. But I'm pretty sure it made no sense without context and without what I really meant it seemed like it missed because I got like 2 likes, and for reals. that's not enough for me.
I'm probably addicted to likes, just saying.
It's the sunday afternoon 2 days post our return from a week at Pacific Beach. I slept/rested most of the trip. The week I got the day we left and the chemo week before that pretty much made me feel like a sac of pooop. I still feel like poop on this Sunday but I finally decided that I'd try to do something and see if moving would make me feel better so I decide to mow the equivalent of 3-4 front yards and edge make it all look pretty. Then I was going to wash my car but I got tired. Anyways it came to me that I'd rather make it to the end of a day and be ridiculously tired and say man I wish I had more energy to complete the tasks I had laid out before me. Because most days I just go to bed because the sun is down, or everyone else in my house goes to sleep or I know I need to wake up at a certain time. Rarely do I finish something and just say, wow I can't go any further I need to stop and get some energy in the form of sleep or food. Making for lots of wasted energy and for lots of "I wish we had more day to spend". Maybe we do have more day to spend, we just don't use it right.
Bla bla bla, use your energy, grind your fingers till they fall off, keep walking till it hurts. run till you can't. There is a resting place, this isn't it. We are the job site, the work zone, except once a week. ;]
Yea I think that's it. Now I have to go finish the other two I write like a week ago and forgot to finish haha. Blog morning!
Love Jeffrey
What the poop this is long, It felt like it took two seconds to write.
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