I'll just get right into this before I lose my train of thought and nothing makes sense.
I've had another rough chemo-tastic week, filled with steroids that make me insatiably hungry but turn everything into a disgusting taste after just awhile. My mouth has been again condemned with slight sores, which really just plays into the whole gross mouth feeling thing.
Water really isn't too appetizing when the mouth is so filled with disgusting, when I reached for it every time it didn't satisfy the way I was hoping it would. Longing for a washing away of the grossness feeling. Not drinking makes me super dehydrated too and when a chemo man gets dehydrated bad stuff happens. I don't even know, my hips felt like they were going to explode and then I got a pinched nerve feeling in my spine that cause STUPID painful convulsions in my stomach, super weird.
That's the physical and now onto the spiritual.
Have you ever been so hungry that you aren't hungry any more? Have you ever been so dehydrated for so long it seems pointless to get something to quench it?
I can't say I've had this in the physical but there have been moments or long spurts in my life where I was so far from God I couldn't taste Him or feel Him near my belly and I wasn't satisfied. I'm not writing to convert, I'm writing to explain my head, my emotions, my feelings, be convicted if you chose to.
Rapping up this short, seemingly direct post I'd like to say.
It was a week of my life, a week I endured painfully with the help of the family, sleep some INCREDIBLE friends and no matter how far my mind/spirit drifted from me, my God.
He will quench. He is water.
He will satisfy, He is bread.
No comments:
Post a Comment