Opening Joke: This isn't my real blog, you can find all of my real writings at bomb wait for it . . . dot com!
WHADDUP?!
Keep in mind, I use this like a journal, excluding certain details, I am just free writing, so this is sloppy, messy and can tend to be not pretty. With that being put at the beginning I can now start to write. After staring at this computer screen and seeking inspiration for the past, 2+ hours.
My body feels great, I think that's actually the problem today, and why I haven't blogged in so long. When I was disoriented by the chemo and stricken by the fact that I had that big fat C word: cancer. In the time when my body felt week, I felt so much more consumed by God. It was as if He protected me, knowing that I needed Him because I was spiritually weak as well as physically. (I'd like to put in a note right here that I deleted what I was trying to say multiple times, and then it was like it all of a sudden hit me.) Today just doesn't feel like a writing day, today feels like a learning day, it feels like the day where I question every little thing trying to understand God just a tiny piece more. My writing this branched from the idea that I thought Satan was the ruled of earth, it's just what I thought, so I looked it up, read scriptures for like 2 hours; right now I want to say I understand if he is or isn't but, I just don't know! I emailed a Rabbi, and a NW professor, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. This is fun, it's like I'm a detective and I'm investigating the bible! Proverbs 25:2 - It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, and the glory of kings to investigate a matter. Basically living like a king today? =] Thanks for lunch mom.
It's kind of weird, every day the idea of college sort of changes in my mind, but today I actually feel like a college student. This blog is my research paper and I did research all day. Good thing you guys don't . . . grade me.
Entertainment:
TheFutureOfFood(WATCHTHIS!ifyouwanttoknowwhatyourprobablyeating)
SexMarriage/Fairytales --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4OK9DmLpCY
Cyberbully(messedupworldwelivein,horribleplot.)
PlantsVsZombies(IalreadybeatthisgamewhydidIstartplayingitagain?Thisisdumb,I'mremovingthisapp)
TheBookOfEli(GORY,badstuffhappenslikerape,mademewanttomemorizemybible!)
AngryBirds(Thankyouhospitaldudeforlettingmeplaybut,Idon'tunderstandsociety'saddiction,soannoying!
KungFuPanda2(Entertaining)
BloonsTowerDefense4(ZOMGSOMUCHFUN,tillIlost...stupidgame)
HowIMetYourMother(Ishouldn'twatchthis,it'stoosexualit'sjustnotbenefittingmylife,sobyebye)
Gemcraft(Thiswaswayeasierlasttime,videogamesarestupidandtoohard,whathappenedtolike,everyonewins?!)
What Does It Sound Like(thissongmakesmewanttowriteforJesus)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1U6-Q5wpCM
If you waded through all that you deserve to hear what I've been doing, and plan to be doing.
Two weeks ago on a Sunday, I made it back to a little church in lakewood that I call family. I only stayed for "Sunday School" but then got some phat black glasses. When I got home, I felt like poop, I pigged out on some Bar-B-Que my dad thankfully procured. I then laid in bed most of the day, saving and building my energy for youth small group! Yusss, I missed it too much. Yea, so I lost in arm wrestling to a girl, she's basically buff she can curl probably 9 lbs per arm, it was okay to lose to her. It was when I arm wrestled her sister that my pride was completely abolished. Her sister has no need for the lifting of weights, some people are just born with no need to lift weights, DANG GENE POOLS! Yea, I said she doesn't really work out, that means she has tiny arms, weak little girl arms, but I LOST. Pride popped. A great night!
Random Fact: I heard on the radio that at this time of year (Super Bowl) many people get a bladder disfunction that increases the difficulty of holding in urine. That means you can't hold it as long like old people who wear depends. This happens because most people go to the restroom during commercials but (guys especially) decide to hold it because they HAVE to see "that" commercial. GO PEE or WEAR DEPENDS WHEN YOUR 27! Thank you. (totally wrote this because I have to pee.)
The following day, anyone still with me, what day was it? MONDAY! That means Summit Youth Group Night, so I text Tanner, the "Lead Worshiper" and I'm like "BROSEPH YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL CAN I HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS AND PLAY DRUMS BEHIND YOU?!" he replied"Ya."
That's how it would have gone if we were like anime characters or something, but since it weren't it was a lot less, hyperbolic. That's pretty much what happened though. I went, practiced with them, worshipped God for a solid 4 songs. Played a run around game, basically fell into Dylan's lap with my puny little leg muscles trying to hold up my body. Played the 2 songs before the message, Mike talked and I felt like poop. "Jeffrey there's no way you can make it . . . " I thought. " If we play the next two songs, right after the message I can play then leave." I sort of made it to the end, only to find out that they play the 2 songs at the VERY end, after everything. My more responsive to pain self responded in this moment. Daniel, I need that ride home, right now. I tried to say goodbye to everyone I knew, and maybe a few people I didn't know yet. This ride home, sucked, felt like so much poop, thought I was hungry so I ate these crackers, didn't help, got home, made it upstairs laid down for like an hour and then felt totally normal, went downstairs and hung out with my parents at like 10pm feeling pretty normal, darn physical endurance.
Jeffrey's Insight: You know what's a good idea? Calendars are a GREAT idea. I try to write all the big stuff down on my calendar, and I can pretty much figure out this entire last month passed solely on that thing. prettysweet
Tuesday:I made dinner for my family with the incredible AmandaJANEKlebe,nbd,ILOVEHER. =]
iwasnthorrifiedforthedaytocome,butiwasnotexcitedtosaytheleast,tomorrow,istart,NEWCHEMO.
New chemo doesn't sound that bad except for the fact that this dude was like, a doctor and stuff and he totally told me I was going to start feeling better (which I did start feeling better, it was my fist week back at church and back at Summit, super pro week!) and then they were going to knock me back onto my butt, what?! here we go Wednesday, woo?!
STAY WITH ME<WE"RE HAVING FUN>
Woke up this morning, didn't know what to do, and then boom, I decided to memorize this verse because I found it written on my wall. 1 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Booom, thanks Advocate now that I got that in the front of my dehydrated brain I don't have to worry about today at all. At the hospital, my head hurts like crazy I was hiding in my robe, Doc walks in, "oh, you don't have enough red blood cells are you okay?" he said. I reply "Just my head hurting like crazy for the past week, ouch." Doc-"Yea? Well we're going to inject someones blood into you today then you should be feeling better, but first we're going to radiate that blood to make sure it has nothing bad in it."(Real quick fact about me, I'm b+ blood type, because I'll always Be positive! =])
Sooo we're in the hospital all day, with typical hospital shenanigans, it's really kind of fun to be at the hospital a day at a time, I might sound crazy but I kind of like it, it's cool. Plus my mom takes me out to eat every time we're at the hospital all day and I can't eat because they put me sleepy sleepy. SAW MY BFF, love you boo. ChinFree<3 and then without saying too much grotty details, 2 liters of IV fluid, 1.5 liters of water by mouth and 6 drinks from Red Robin, I didn't sleep very much that night, and my toilet got a lot of action.
The week progressed with friendly visits, inspirational guests, foodtastic grandparents, until finally Friday night I was gonna do it, I was going to see Sugar in Lakes performance of Clue, yes! It was a long car ride home, these dang car rides home just, headaches, poop. But I made it to the show, and watched the whole thing! She, is pro. Better be watching those movies for her, never know where she might pop up! ;]
And this week started off grandiose with Church, the whole service this time! I may have found a couch to lay on, but I listened to the whole sermon and stood for, most of the songs! Hahaha.
Monday was splendid as well as another step towards recovery, went to Summit, practiced all 4 songs, played the start 2, listened, hung out, small groups, what a cool group of guys, I don't know what it is about that asian man face, I just connected to it more than Rock's white guy face, maybe it's that chin beard I'm jealous of on Rocky Mikosa that makes me fear him, IDON'TKNOW! maybei'msecretlystillinmiddleschool. Almost made it to Taco Bell! And then Cabe made the healthy decision for me and took me home when I stated my head was hurtin'. More and more pleasant visitors, far less frequent than when I was in the hospital, but I'm feeling better every day so I'm moving more back to normal life. How cool would it be if you just went over to hang out with your friends randomly when you have spare time? Dang, that's just cool.
'kay now super exciting news!
Vincible, a punk/hardcore band I've played drums for over a year got offered a show in Boise, yup Idaho. Not a payed show, but it's all Christian bands on the bill, what's better than a night of active Worship after a road trip with 3 men of God? Sounds like what I'd LOVE the rest of my life to look like, just throw in a few more men, maybe some wives, eventually babies, and a bigger car/cars, every NIGHT?! No thanks I don't want to work 5 days a week, I want to work, 6, booyah!
STOKED! So, praying I feel good enough for the weekend of the 19th, this is HUGE!
Feeling stronger every day. LausDeoSemper(praise always to God-Thanks for being cool Cobus)
Chemo-Day(aka) Wednesday: Time for more sleepy sleepy, and no food until later in the day. =[
But I get the EXTRA sleepy doctor today, he gives me lots of the nappy drug. I walked from the car to the doctor, and from the doctor to the sleepy place. If you've been to Madigan, you know this is a far walk, especially for a dude who has been losing muscle sitting around.
Getting stronnnnngerr! Lifting my 5lb weights!
RANDOM STUFF THAT CAME TO MY MIND WHILE I WAS WRITING ALL OF THIS!
I'd rather listen to something that MEANS a lot to me, emotionally that makes sense to me, and connects to me, than something that sounds perfect, or catchy, because it's pointless, I want meaning.
The older we get, the more we change, and separate away from each other, it's not like when we were kids, maybe some things should still be like when we were kids, maybe some things still need to change so we don't act that way anymore.
Sites I visited while trying to write this!
Cool Websites: http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInterlinear/Greek_Index.htm, I challenge every couple seeking God to Ephesians 5, the whole thing before getting married, honestly probably a good idea to read it before you get engaged but, it's never to late right? http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%205&version=HCSB
Oh and (Jeff Bethke Speaking about David and Goliath) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3dlZDLmJH4&feature=BFa&list=UUc4yillQaNo6a-iG2PYbbrA&lf=plcp boom!
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