Yesterday marked ELEVEN months since my lady doctor diagnosed me with Pre-B Cell ALL(Leukemia) date. After initial conversation about how the doctor knew I was sick a few tears and a lot of shock and prayer she had told me I could die in about a month. Here I stand ten0 months after a day when I could have died. To me, this is significant I know my God heals, saves, and protect those who love Him. (Rom 8:28)
I'm not trying to diminish this incredible journey I've been on or scare anyone into the idea that you could just fall over dead today but . . . earth isn't it.
Throughout my whole journey I've held on to a few things. One, that God loves me: obviously this was my center. With that being my center it led me to a place where I could see that even if death were this close to me it wouldn't matter, my faith is in God and I trust He will take care of me. If I am wrong about God, and His eternal residency for His children that love Him, then whoops? As far as I'm concerned though, I'm not wrong.
The forever life is basically impossible for me to fully understand. What I do get is that my "cancer" experience isn't much difference than the every day for all of us. I've had possibly more discomfort than some and a few, well a lot more hospital nights than most over this past year with enough blood taken out of me to feed more mosquitoes than I would ever like to see. Any and all of the discomforts and fears from this experience though just opened my eyes to the reality that this can't be the only place to "live". I do very much enjoy the YOLO train but that's because I view it more as a "take advantage of today" kind of motto. Back on track though. (See what I did there, YOLO train, back on track, tehehe.) I don't want to point out all the things in a day that could stop life here, I just want to say . . . We are called mortal for a reason. A death is a death from cancer or from a car crash or choking on steak. If you are a "christian" then stand up and act like a Christian following what His word says. I do wrong, I miss the when I'm shooting to be right, I need correction. When I am caught wronging my God show me, teach me how to right Him and I will thank you deeply.
Done preaching now I'm going to rant/ramble about what's been going on with cancer and yatta yatta whatnot. So my back hurts like crazy right now, if I take a seat or try to lay down it hurts like 10x worse. Have you ever tried typing something on a Macbook while standing up though? Without a perfectly positioned table at the right height, maybe I should go find one in my house somewhere . . . Brb.
Just kidding, we're actually going back in time to a week ago when I got my spinal tap, last Thursday my lady doctor started poking around on my spine with her finger to see where she wanted to insert the needle and I told her that it hurt, she said it was just nerves. I dunno. It feels like a nerve is being pinched between two vertah-bra's. I got some sleepy drugs after that had put on some numbing cream and gave me pain medication and forget-yo-life drugs, which I normally call drugs but I guess it's not really sleeping. I woke up and dang for the next like 24 hours that spot hurt so bad I got to see one of my best friends BLACK uncle's propose to his (now) fiancé, which was pretty rad because He's black. I'm kind of partial to darker skinned people, must be the mexican in me. It was a good pre-Thanksgiving meal with some friends and some strangers always a pleasure to be with their family though. After the 24 hours was over though I was done walking like an old man pretty much. Whatever, God heals and I keep walking. Actually walking is fine, sitting and laying down are the only uncomfortable parts (on today not last week.)
Keep on living, because that's what I plan to do, and blog another day.
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